I’ve never…

So, health care reform is dead. Young people with shit paying jobs will soon be forced to buy insurance. The poor insurance industry, seeing increased numbers, will be given a huge amount of federal dollars to subsidize them in these hard times of more clients. Sen. Joe Lieberman, assbag, will get money from these companies making a sort of ironic “trickle down” effect.

But let’s laugh.

See? This cat gets it.

Baucus’ life is in shambles. Barkus’ life is in shambles. And insurance reps are actively making dumbass points all around us.

And I got to kick one in the balls for it.

Yesterday I met with an insurance rep (actually as part of a group of people). Right away the question was posed that, maybe, the rep’s life wasn’t going so hot in the current political climate.

But oh, oh no. His life is going fine, he says. And he doesn’t think (rightly so) a public option or single payer is coming down the pike. And, he was willing to give his specious, moronic reasoning.

First, he had to explain risk/cost to us. Essentially if you’re a person perfectly healthy for the last six months (this is an industry standard) you pay less. Healthy for longer? Even less. The healthiest amongst us pay very little compared to the sick. But, have something wrong beforehand, or gain a new fault – BAM! – cost goes up. To him, fair. To me? A brutally stupid system (I’ll explain later to naysayers…).

Anyway, he then began his attack of public health care.

“I’m a healthy person,” he said. “How many of you smoke?”

One person raised her hand.

“I don’t think it’s right that I should have to pay for her lung cancer.”

I was immediately pissed. “Okay,” I said. “I don’t have anything against Afghanistan. I don’t think it’s right that I have to pay to blow up that nation.”

Capt. Insurance stopped his argument after that because his reasoning is pure bullshit.

This assbag is actively derailing the most decent, humane thing our government has ever attempted. His sad-but-true-joke-contribution: "I've never been lower middle class. I don't think it's fair that I have to pay for the pleebs to get crusts."

We pay for lots of things we don’t use, or want.  For example my maternal grandparents sent their children to Catholic schools, and yet they had to pay taxes used for public schools.

As Penn Jillette once said on his TV show Bullshit!, “We belong to a club and to belong to that club we pay dues, called taxes.” To add to that: We elect club officers every two years to allocate these dues in worthwhile and meaningful ways — roads, schools, crony-istic bailouts — and often times not for things we use or want. For instance, I do not plan on going to Taiwan, but my taxes help pay someone to maintain good relations with Taiwan so that someone else can go there without being killed.

Here’s some cheap jokes:

“I’ve never crashed an airplane. I don’t think it’s fair that I have to pay for the FAA.”

“I’ve never been brutally murdered. I don’t think it’s right that I have to pay for a CSI unit.”

“I’ve never got e-coli from bad meat. I don’t think it’s fair that I have to pay for the FDA.”

“I’ve never breathed with gills. I don’t think it’s fair that I have to pay for FWP.”

“I’ve never nominated my girlfriend for a federal attorney job. I don’t think it’s fair I pay that Senator’s salary.”

“I’ve never drunkenly crashed a boat containing a federal official. I don’t think it’s right that I should pay for the court to provide a fair and equitable trial.”

Finally, heading a little old school….

“I’ve never had electrical power. I don’t think it’s fair that I should pay for the Rural Electricity Act.”

Why can our taxes do all of these good things, but not the very best? What is wrong with thinking we can have the best roads, the best schools, the best quality of life, and the best health care, all if we pay just a little bit?

Beats me.

It’s been a long week of #fail in Washington thanks to that assbag Joe Lieberman and I just wanted to bring everyone a laugh before we all get cancer and die in poverty.

In the spirit of the best, I’ll end with the best joke I could come up with. Okay, it’s not mine. It came from my wife: “My house has never burned down. I don’t think it’s right that I have to pay for the fire department.”

I wonder if Sen. Assbag agrees…

Time to put Max’s bill to sleep

This from the Washington Post this morning:

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs … said that a fine for not buying insurance is more like a speeding ticket than a tax. But when pressed by a reporter about the excise taxes explicitly mentioned in the legislation, Gibbs replied: “It’s pretty clear.”

Actually, it’s not. I’ve got a speeding ticket. Cost me $25. The excise taxes levied on non-insured Americans –mostly, middle-class — is in the range of $1,900 if the Finance Committee’s bill passes (by Montana law to be fined that for speeding you’d need to be traveling in excess of 200mph). And so of course the Democrats are working to fix this unfair, totally moronic tax, right? No.

The longer this attempt at fixing Max’s awful bill goes on the more my stomach turns, especially when it’s a person like Sen. Mike Crapo — Larry Craig’s replacement — who has to offer an amendment to end the excise tax. Max and friends killed the amendment though. According to the Post Max said it would take needed funding away from the reform bill.

“We cannot, uh, pay the, uh, subsidies, uh — to the, uh — if we’re not willing to tax, the (you see the thing is…)…uh…we need the tax against the people in the middle so, uh, we can, uh, give it to the rich,” our Senator didn’t say, but might as well have.

(And of course no one from the Finance Committee spoke about raising taxes on the 1-percent to cover the cost, except for Republicans who don’t wish to do that either.)

Maybe it was because the debate lasted until 2am, but Jesus-jumped-up-Christ, is it worth it to go through this for a bad bill? Seriously. If a veterinarian told you that your cat needed to have a leg amputated, a kidney transplant, eye surgery, insulin shots, three teeth removed, a feeding tube, chemotherapy, and a haircut, you’d just give the poor thing a high dose of barbiturates.

I’m afraid we’ve lost. Again. And going with Max on this is not a win, and it never will be.

Where it began…er…begins

A while back I had a blog called “Duganz at 23,” which served as a way for me to express everything I was feeling about being out of school, and out of my freaking mind. I hated my job, drank a lot, and occasionally made some funny jokes.

It died shortly after I met the woman who is now my wife–mostly because I had no reason to vent about things since I was unemployed and in love. Now I’m employed, and in love and somehow feel like contributing to the public debate. Again. And probably just post random pap from my life.

But why return now? This guy:

Baucus announces his healthcare reform bill... not pictured: Any other Democrats.

Can anyone be a bigger bastard right now than Sen. Max Baucus?

Here’s my part in the arguement:

Max’s bill makes a very large assumption about young people: That we never get sick. The young are healthy, energetic, amazing people. And also that we can afford insurance to begin with.

This is me after having one--one!--small slice of a guava. Please also note the presence of my asthma treatment, the red inhaler near my hand. Such a healthy young man.

Of course the young get sick (as my above image shows). And some of us have very severe conditions. And a lot of us make diddly-shit wages. You see, when I choose to get a job insurance companies do not funnel money to me so that I may get the job–unlike Max. So now my sick ass (and that of my wife) may be mandated to buy expensive insurance to subsidize the healthier people in our lives. Nice. Big help Max. Glad you could help me push profits higher for those poor, downtrodden  insurance companies.

And Max helping the insurance agencies should come as little shock. After all, an old “friend” of Montana has been a big help until recently.

So I’m back here for a bit of arguing and observing….and BS.